So stuck here in the library... with a beautiful foreigner at the next table over (too bad he is a Frat Rat or I'd be all over that one)... this thought popped up in my fabulous head:
We need an adapter for our American Electronics when we go overseas... Where the hell is the adaptor for our Va-jay-jay??
I mean think about it... we depend on our electronics for EVERYTHING.. our phones, computers, ipods... we would be SCREWED without them... so what do we do? We run to Best Buy and get American-to-European adaptors so we don't have to live without them...
But what the hell about the sex??
I mean I have been with 2 Aussie's and HOLY HELL... let me tell you!! Idk how they breed those boys down under... but they know how to go down!!
(Ladies if you get the chance don't pass it up, and guys... same to you and let me know how it is!!)
What is it that breeds these foreigners absolutely full of SEX! SEX! SEX!... and why can't American's learn to do the same? Well I know for one... my summer trip to Europe is going to be FULL of exploring this thought!
When they are coming from such a different culture... they keep you CUMING with their culture!
Back to staring at my beautiful foreigner...
J.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
SEX && good days
What makes a good day even better?? SEX
And not just sex.. but 'good day sex' ... no not the salutation 'have a good day' (sex) but the 'i'm having a fucking fantastic day'... let's get laid :) (sex)
Although there may be different types of good days... today has been one of the BEST.. why you may ask? Well nothing TOO spectacular...
Great day at work with the babies (we did dance off's with them in the mall and taught them naughty things-of course which they all repeated)... got info that I will be receiving a huge chunk of money WAY sooner than expected... got off work early... didn't hear from Douchbag Date #2 guy.. ran into Mr. Red Wine guy.. and felt Mr. Sparky with Flirt Friend...
Damn. Maybe it was a: Pretty. Effing. Fantastic. Day.
So that brings me to sex...
Aren't these the best times to have sex? When your libido is so high from pure happiness and adrenaline... and the answer??
Abso-Fucking-Lutely.
It's my favorite time to have sex... because I feel like I'm on top of the world... so it's time to GET ON TOP...
J.
And not just sex.. but 'good day sex' ... no not the salutation 'have a good day' (sex) but the 'i'm having a fucking fantastic day'... let's get laid :) (sex)
Although there may be different types of good days... today has been one of the BEST.. why you may ask? Well nothing TOO spectacular...
Great day at work with the babies (we did dance off's with them in the mall and taught them naughty things-of course which they all repeated)... got info that I will be receiving a huge chunk of money WAY sooner than expected... got off work early... didn't hear from Douchbag Date #2 guy.. ran into Mr. Red Wine guy.. and felt Mr. Sparky with Flirt Friend...
Damn. Maybe it was a: Pretty. Effing. Fantastic. Day.
So that brings me to sex...
Aren't these the best times to have sex? When your libido is so high from pure happiness and adrenaline... and the answer??
Abso-Fucking-Lutely.
It's my favorite time to have sex... because I feel like I'm on top of the world... so it's time to GET ON TOP...
J.
Monday, February 7, 2011
SEX && the spark
Along with this weekend and my mixed-up, mashed-potato mess of men... can you have great sex without 'the spark'?
I feel there should be no need to explain 'the spark' however, here it is: The spark is that grandiose feeling of I WANT YOU NOW.. all over, around and in me.
On the lighter side of things its the feeling that you can't wait to see them next and you get the giggly butterfly feeling. (Even if you are black hearted like my best friend K. no giggles = no spark)
Some people swear by the rule that it grows on you.. that people can learn to love each other. To me that sounds like a ridiculous, made-up theory to help out idiots in arranged marriages.
Now, don't get me wrong I do believe that love grows.. what I don't believe is that you should settle for anything less than the spark! If and when you enter the relationship phase.. a spark must be present. If it's not than aren't you just settling??
And what is the point of settling? Settling may be 'comfortable' but is it an adventure? I think not. And life is our biggest adventure... so why waste half of it being tied to someone your comfortable with?
Now is the following a contradiction??? ... what if your flirt friend grows on you so much over the years that 2 years into it... the spark appears?
Something to ponder... but as far as sex is concerned? Absolutely no way in hell is it possible to have great sex without Mr. Spark. As my best friend R. said last night... I simply will stick to my purple friend until Mr. Spark appears :)
J.
I feel there should be no need to explain 'the spark' however, here it is: The spark is that grandiose feeling of I WANT YOU NOW.. all over, around and in me.
On the lighter side of things its the feeling that you can't wait to see them next and you get the giggly butterfly feeling. (Even if you are black hearted like my best friend K. no giggles = no spark)
Some people swear by the rule that it grows on you.. that people can learn to love each other. To me that sounds like a ridiculous, made-up theory to help out idiots in arranged marriages.
Now, don't get me wrong I do believe that love grows.. what I don't believe is that you should settle for anything less than the spark! If and when you enter the relationship phase.. a spark must be present. If it's not than aren't you just settling??
And what is the point of settling? Settling may be 'comfortable' but is it an adventure? I think not. And life is our biggest adventure... so why waste half of it being tied to someone your comfortable with?
Now is the following a contradiction??? ... what if your flirt friend grows on you so much over the years that 2 years into it... the spark appears?
Something to ponder... but as far as sex is concerned? Absolutely no way in hell is it possible to have great sex without Mr. Spark. As my best friend R. said last night... I simply will stick to my purple friend until Mr. Spark appears :)
J.
LIFE && the Bro-Ho
We have all encountered the dreaded Bro-Ho at some point in our lives ... usually in high school and we HOPED never again..
Well here I am as a Senior in college and I have encountered... the Bro-Ho
What is a Bro-Ho you ask? She is the Ho to the Bro's.. the butt boy to the men.. and the pain in our (female) asses..
She is the insecure girl that goes after EVERY guy.. if you have a group of 5 men.. she flirts with them all.. if you have a group of 50 men.. she flirts with them all. But worse than her having what appears to be sluttish tendencies.. she goes after friends guys.. not intentional mind you.. but sneaky, aka snake in the grass..
How does she accomplish this? Girl A starts liking Boy A.. Bro Ho (as the dutiful friend) 'gets to know' Boy A, the problem comes in when the only way she knows how to do this is by flirting.. the next week Girl B starts liking Boy B.. Bro Ho (as the dutiful friend) 'gets to know' Boy B... and so on...
Imagine a Bro-Ho that does this in a workplace, we've all been there, done that, seen a Bro-Ho in action..
So is it better to step in and call her out on it? Or do we let her keep going around in circles until it bites her in her not-so-hot ass??
I personally prefer to watch the Bro-Ho go down in flames... much more satisfaction that way :) Unless someone out there wants to go Terminator style and kick all their asses?? That would be satisfying to!
J.
Well here I am as a Senior in college and I have encountered... the Bro-Ho
What is a Bro-Ho you ask? She is the Ho to the Bro's.. the butt boy to the men.. and the pain in our (female) asses..
She is the insecure girl that goes after EVERY guy.. if you have a group of 5 men.. she flirts with them all.. if you have a group of 50 men.. she flirts with them all. But worse than her having what appears to be sluttish tendencies.. she goes after friends guys.. not intentional mind you.. but sneaky, aka snake in the grass..
How does she accomplish this? Girl A starts liking Boy A.. Bro Ho (as the dutiful friend) 'gets to know' Boy A, the problem comes in when the only way she knows how to do this is by flirting.. the next week Girl B starts liking Boy B.. Bro Ho (as the dutiful friend) 'gets to know' Boy B... and so on...
Imagine a Bro-Ho that does this in a workplace, we've all been there, done that, seen a Bro-Ho in action..
So is it better to step in and call her out on it? Or do we let her keep going around in circles until it bites her in her not-so-hot ass??
I personally prefer to watch the Bro-Ho go down in flames... much more satisfaction that way :) Unless someone out there wants to go Terminator style and kick all their asses?? That would be satisfying to!
J.
LOVE && red flags
This past weekend has left me with many questions.. at the forefront is:
How soon is too soon for red flags?
After reaching the 2nd date with a guy.. several red flags have popped up. It seems to be flag #1 is of the controlling nature.. and flag #2 is the dreaded jealous/insecure issue. While on this date after he proceeded to come back from the bathroom.. he then proceeded to get PO'd assuming that I was getting a phone number from the bartender.. in reality I was texting my best friend K. and the bartender happened to be standing close writing up someone's tab... (granted the bartender was an absolute GORGEOUS hunk.. and I have a highly newfound appreciation for wine on those nights he's working ;)
2 flags on the 2nd date when there was no spark to begin with?? I think it's time to leave that one in the ditch and move onto the next!
So how many flags are too many... and in what time frame should they present themselves??
When in LOVE we have learned to overlook the flaws of our partners.. or rather to accept and appreciate them.. so what about in Dating?
Do we overlook the flaws for someone we are really clicking with... or should we pay better attention to these red flags?
As for me... Date #2 guy will not reach Date #3, screw the red flags and bring on my tall Mr. Red Wine bartender :)
J.
How soon is too soon for red flags?
After reaching the 2nd date with a guy.. several red flags have popped up. It seems to be flag #1 is of the controlling nature.. and flag #2 is the dreaded jealous/insecure issue. While on this date after he proceeded to come back from the bathroom.. he then proceeded to get PO'd assuming that I was getting a phone number from the bartender.. in reality I was texting my best friend K. and the bartender happened to be standing close writing up someone's tab... (granted the bartender was an absolute GORGEOUS hunk.. and I have a highly newfound appreciation for wine on those nights he's working ;)
2 flags on the 2nd date when there was no spark to begin with?? I think it's time to leave that one in the ditch and move onto the next!
So how many flags are too many... and in what time frame should they present themselves??
When in LOVE we have learned to overlook the flaws of our partners.. or rather to accept and appreciate them.. so what about in Dating?
Do we overlook the flaws for someone we are really clicking with... or should we pay better attention to these red flags?
As for me... Date #2 guy will not reach Date #3, screw the red flags and bring on my tall Mr. Red Wine bartender :)
J.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
SEX && chains...
Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me
Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me
Yes! Yes! and YES! This song (Rihanna S & M) is by far my favorite song about sex! The video is so hot it has even been banned in 11 countries...
Which makes me wonder.. society is such a continual contradiction, especially in regards to sex. On one hand a female who sleeps around is a slut.. on the other she is adventurous and fearsome (aka Samantha of Sex and the City). What happened to the raging sexual revolution of the sixties? How and why has society reverted back to conventionalism in regards to sex?
I don't believe you can have too much sex, I do believe having too little is a crime! Whether in a relationship or single (and loving it!) sex is in our animalistic nature.. so why not embrace it??
So ladies... don't let those sticks and stones break your bones.. go buy some whips and chains ;)
J.
LIFE && married douchebags
The romantic, timeless situation... of the Married Man coming onto you.
We have seen it in the movies, we have heard the romance and the horror stories... and we have labeled those men as douchebags. So... What makes a married man cheat?
Is it the need to feel Macho and like He's Still Got It? Or is he plain and simple... a douche... scum of the earth, and not deserving of the woman he married?
Below are two scenarios that are fairly typical to this tainted situation:
Scenario 1:
You go out for a night on the town with the girls, of course looking fabulous as usual. You squeeze your way up to the bar, of course next to the gorgeous hunk, and order your drink (A tall glass of him a la mode). Conversation ensues and low and behold the appropriate 'time' passes where the significant other could have, and should have, been brought up... GREEN LIGHT (no significant other) and the races are off... at some point later on you inevitably find out he has a significant other (hopefully not already into the affair state)
Scenario 2:
You are familiar with this man, whether it is as a co-worker or an acquaintance, so you know he has a significant other, and he knows- you know. Yet he proceeds to bring on the flirting... innocently enough mind you... but semi-innapropriate comments about missing out on seeing you, or simply swinging by your office more often. The comments/gestures continue to become more inappropriate, but they are always ever so slight to skip through the radar detector.
So which scenario is worse? Is it better to be aware of the douchebag from the beginning or is finding out later on worse? What is it about these seemingly 'nice guys' that makes them have this entire alter-ego for cheating?
Call me old fashioned, but I want to go back to the times where divorce was a social abhorrence, and the cheating bastard was excluded from society. Since that is not possible, bring on the sexual liberation and it's up to us gals to get together and weed out the douchebags.
Be careful, have fun, and maybe pick up that hot guy at Home Depot while picking up your weed wackers ;)
J.
We have seen it in the movies, we have heard the romance and the horror stories... and we have labeled those men as douchebags. So... What makes a married man cheat?
Is it the need to feel Macho and like He's Still Got It? Or is he plain and simple... a douche... scum of the earth, and not deserving of the woman he married?
Below are two scenarios that are fairly typical to this tainted situation:
Scenario 1:
You go out for a night on the town with the girls, of course looking fabulous as usual. You squeeze your way up to the bar, of course next to the gorgeous hunk, and order your drink (A tall glass of him a la mode). Conversation ensues and low and behold the appropriate 'time' passes where the significant other could have, and should have, been brought up... GREEN LIGHT (no significant other) and the races are off... at some point later on you inevitably find out he has a significant other (hopefully not already into the affair state)
Scenario 2:
You are familiar with this man, whether it is as a co-worker or an acquaintance, so you know he has a significant other, and he knows- you know. Yet he proceeds to bring on the flirting... innocently enough mind you... but semi-innapropriate comments about missing out on seeing you, or simply swinging by your office more often. The comments/gestures continue to become more inappropriate, but they are always ever so slight to skip through the radar detector.
So which scenario is worse? Is it better to be aware of the douchebag from the beginning or is finding out later on worse? What is it about these seemingly 'nice guys' that makes them have this entire alter-ego for cheating?
Call me old fashioned, but I want to go back to the times where divorce was a social abhorrence, and the cheating bastard was excluded from society. Since that is not possible, bring on the sexual liberation and it's up to us gals to get together and weed out the douchebags.
Be careful, have fun, and maybe pick up that hot guy at Home Depot while picking up your weed wackers ;)
J.
LIFE && Flirt Friends
Today, through my dayquil/sudaphed/tylenol/sickness haze, I have been pondering the idea of flirt friends.
What are flirt friends you might ask?
They are a friend of the opposite gender (or same as you for those that float that way) that you can, and do, talk to anything about, yet there is a sexual tension in the air. The sexual tension is not something that happens right away mind you, but something that grows over time. Long nights of texting, with intermittent compliments and playful slander that in all other relationships would be considered 'flirting'.
So what keeps this relationship from becoming something more?
You have had several opportunities for something to happen, but nothing has happened... is there a yet on the end? Is it too much of a risk to try something, and watch it all crumble, including the friendship. Or is it a bridge we all should cross for those of us lucky enough to have these flirt friends?
Is it fair to keep them 'hanging on' or are they doing the same? Are flirt friends beneficial and an ego booster or are they unhealthy for insecure people?
While everyone may feel different about flirt friends I find them very entertaining. I believe in some lucky cases, they may be 'The One' however, only time (and maturity) will tell.
So until then the more flirt friends the merrier :)
J.
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